September 3, 2020

my mom has dementia and she hates me

She can’t take care of herself and all she wants to do is stay in her room and gossip on the phone and watch television. I agree with canary that she should settle in time, My Mum has been in care for 6 months and overall she has settled (i.e. It's the dementia talking, my mum tells me what a horrible daughter I am and what a lovely person my brother is, we only see him about 4 times a year and he does nothing for her, I don't have any problem with him as he has his own family to deal with and often works away. My mum went into a care home in February, after her partner (who also has dementia left her). I do know how you feel....it's terrible ...but that is dementia unfortunately You must log in or register to reply here. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register. Unfortunately ...she forget all of us ...who we are ...and that she had children. Dad is 87 and visit everyday for hours on end...it is taking its toll but he feels so guilty and constantly has to be reminded of why she is there in the first place. She hates that we have 'dumped' her. Yet the memory loss and confusion associated with dementia can trigger bouts of anger that can be distressing to a family member simply trying to do his or her best.“Some days Mom is so sweet and appreciative, but other days she is angry at me and even hits out,” says Jean P., one caregiver who feels frustrated by her mother’s dementia.

She's probably always been mean but the dementia is probably magnifying it to a level you've never seen before. 3 months in a very nice care home, and she is angry with me, cries hysterically and visits have become intolerable.

I agree with canary that she should settle in time, My Mum has been in care for 6 months and overall she has settled (i.e. Managing dementia behaviors may be difficult, but it’s not impossible. Then she found a way to love that mom too.

Even if we take her a gift she sends it home with the man that comes to see her ...who her husband sends up, who is a very nice man...but not her husband...poor dad...god bless both of them. We're currently experiencing technical issues with our newsletter software, so our Dementia Talking Point monthly updates have been put on hold for now. is absolutely fine when we are not there according to staff and non family visitors). She hated me for "leaving her alone to get on with it". If its any comfort i went through this with my mum when she was still at home. 'What kind of family are we, to leave her here'.... 'everybody is mad'.... 'staff are stealing'......'she is in prison'. Its very, very hard to live through. Its very, very hard to live through. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. She has no idea how tired and fed up I am with the whole situation.

We all get angry now and then. She was moved about a month ago to a home closer to my siblings and whilst she seems to be in a slightly better physical state, she is more aware that she is in a care home. Question: My mom, who has dementia, is in a nursing home. Since then the disease has progressed, but she still knows who everyone is. People with dementia might not recognize their family members or friends, and this can cause fear, anxiety, and aggressive behavior. You can only do what you can to keep her safe.

Leaving her is always tricky though.. Dad has to slip out discretely and today as I was leaving out of the blue she suddenly said I am never going home am I?

For a year i have wanted to do this and now I am able to do so at a fraction of the cost she is paying. Leaving her is always tricky though.. Dad has to slip out discretely and today as I was leaving out of the blue she suddenly said I am never going home am I? It's been a horrible 8 years. Because of the dementia (which came in v suddenly after a fall) does this mean we have to put up with this - because they can't help it?

My mum went into a care home in February, after her partner (who also has dementia left her). “Some days Mom is so sweet and appreciative, but other days she is angry at me and even hits out,” says Jean P., one caregiver who feels frustrated by her mother’s dementia. Mom still thinks she is in a hospital and has only been there for a week or two...she is no longer angry about us "putting her in there"....it is so difficult. She is better behaved with friends who visit, which makes me think she has some level of control. klo, mom has been in a care home for almost 3 years now. The guilt is awful .....but I know she is safe , fed and getting masses of stimulation compared to when she was at home on her own. Since 1999, my mother has very slowly declined into dementia and it is a dementia in which she has become incredibly hateful toward me and my four children even accusing us of stealing from her and never coming to see her. She has never really loved me and doesn’t know how to love anyone in my opinion. My family have just left me here

She hated me for "leaving her alone to get on with it". I'm really interested in this thread, therefore, but have no advice to offer. How do I help her understand? I am her only child. My family have just left me here

“Triggers like trying to get her into the shower are easy to understand, but sometimes her dark mood seems to come out of nowhere. She thinks she will soon be coming home to live with me but the truth is she can't come home because I have to work.

Why doesn’t she know I’m doing my best?”“Anger is a form of communication,” says Jeff Huber, President of When you’re facing a loved one who’s unexpectedly angry, try following these steps:It’s important to share these tips with other professionals you may work with to care for your loved one, says Troxel, who helped develop a training program for Home Instead CAREGiversGet moral support and Alzheimer’s resources in your Facebook feed by My mum went into a care home in February, after her partner (who also has dementia left her). Actress Kimberly Williams-Paisley hated the dementia that made her mother seem like a different person—erratic, silent, sometimes angry.

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